I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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