i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
