I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
