Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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