kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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