Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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