Ambien. No doubt about it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's official drugs can't kill me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
