I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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