my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This house was built for laser tag.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
