i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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