we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
