garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
