I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
