Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
