My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
