You just made me feel so damn special
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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