Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
