Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I looked at my own cervix.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
