guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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