Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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