hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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