No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
