i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
