Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
