Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
