He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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