I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
His nipple licking is glorious
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