Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
