And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
