Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
