It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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