better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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