is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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