It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
