I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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