dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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