shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
