Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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