we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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