i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
