the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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