You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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