Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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