you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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