those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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