it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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