Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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