with your own penis?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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