worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
