haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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